RACY LACY

RACY LACY

Lacy calls to me from the window of the shoe store, I hear her through the glass saying; “Terry, let’s go dance and play, come on in and liberate me, we’ll have fun, I promise!” I look in the window and there’s a blue radiance beckoning to me; I notice her on a pedestal, the gorgeous blue satin covered with delicate black lace. She is perched next to her more audacious sister who is red satin with the same black lace overlay. There’s no way I can pass up trying her on, so into the store I go. As soon as I put her on my feet I name her Lacy, however little do I know I’m going to have to add Racy to her name the first time I wear her! I roll up the legs of my jeans to my knees and walk around the store; I immediately get several compliments on Lacy by other ladies in the store. Even the young store clerk weighs in and says, “Those are fierce on you Momma!” Although he’s going for the sale, I do agree with him and I decide I must purchase her and find out what kind of fun we are going to have together.

Afterwards, I meet a girlfriend for lunch and when I show her Lacy she immediately asks “What are you going to wear those with?” “First off, she’s not a ‘those’, her name is Lacy and I know exactly what I will wear her with.” I respond. “You name your shoes?” she asks. “Of course I do, they all have their own personalities.” I reply. I then explain to Meg, “I can dress her down with jeans and a simple black tee-shirt, turtle neck or button-down. Maybe for work I’ll pair her with a black skirt or pants and powder blue button-down tailored shirt. Even all black with light blue bold jewelry, but still leaving her the center of attention. I think with stilettos like Lacy you have to keep it simple and just let her make the statement for the outfit.” “Wow, you’ve really figured all that out already?” Meg asks. “I’d say 9 out of 10 times I know exactly what I will wear with the shoes before I buy them.” I answer.

A few weeks later I need to go into Orange County for a sales meeting and dinner with an old friend whom I haven’t seen in five or so years, so I decide it’s time for Lacy to go on her first outing. I put on my favorite black pants and a simple light blue tailored shirt with some fun bold black and blue jewelry and head out the door. I’ve given myself ample time to get there, however in California you never can tell what the traffic demons will have in store for you. Today they decide to mess with me in the way of a red and black Camaro on a winding two-lane highway driving 35mph! I drive behind him for half an hour and wish he would pull over and hand me the keys, I’ll show him how to drive that car! Finally after quite some distance behind him we get an additional lane and now I can get around him. Regrettably I decide to make up the time I’ve lost and I’m speeding a bit; suddenly there they are the red lights and siren right behind me!

As I’m pulling over Sammy Hagar’s voice goes through my head;
“Go on write me up for 125
Post my face, wanted dead or alive
Take my license n’ all that jive
I can’t drive 55!”

When the Officer comes up to my window, he asks, “Did you know you were going 65 in a 45 zone?” “Sorry, I didn’t realize I was going that fast.” I reply. I hand him my license, registration and proof of insurance. I then suggest to him, “You should be giving a ticket to the guy I just followed doing 35 in the 45 zone for the past half hour.” I’m guessing he doesn’t think this is as funny or helpful as I do because he gives me a ticket. This is the first ticket in a really long time I haven’t been able to talk my way out of; oh well I’m sure I deserved it.

My meeting goes long but very well and Lacy is a big hit in the office, she gets lots of “oooh’s” and “aaah’s” and “where did you find those?” I’m quite delighted with her; she really does make a statement.

Now I’m off to an early dinner with my old friend Tim. Last time I saw him was at a birthday party for a work associate about five or six years ago. When I walk into the restaurant, I spot him immediately (it helps that he’s 6’3”, has powder blue eyes and an electric smile) I give him a big hug. We enjoy a nice long dinner and reminisce and laugh for hours. When it’s time to go, Tim says “I have something to show you.” We head outside and he walks me over to (you guessed it) his new red and black Camaro! I immediately start laughing while he is trying to tell me all about her; startled Tim asks “What’s so funny?” When I finally compose myself I ask him “Didn’t you see me behind you this morning on Ortega Highway trying to get around you or get you to speed up?” “No, I’m usually in my own little world when I’m driving Ortega.” I proceed to tell him about my speeding ticket, what I told the Officer and that I blame him for it. He laughs and says “Here you can drive her down PCH, since you think you’re a better driver than me.” He hands me the keys and I say to him “I am, you drive her like an old lady, let me show you how she should be driven.”

As I slide into the driver’s seat I wonder if Racy Lacy is going to get me into more trouble tonight, I guess we’ll see……