Thursday, October 21, 2010

MISS MANNERS WANTS TO TEACH YOU A LESSON

MISS MANNERS WANTS TO TEACH YOU A LESSON
Miss Manners is the proper name I gave these tweed beauties as soon as I saw her. She seems so very prim with her tweed exterior, but don’t let that fool you; she’s also a little racy with her red peep-toe, heel and trim. Because of her appearance she always makes me feel so formal and reserved with just a dash of daring when I have her on.


Miss Manners and I are walking through the Houston airport on our way home from a business trip, since I have time before my plane departs I decide to sit down with my computer and get some work done. While I’m busy with emails I hear a young woman having a rather loud discussion on her cell phone. My legs are crossed and Miss Manners is pointing in the direction of the annoying young woman. “I know, I know.” I say softly; I don’t want anyone to hear me talking to her. I glance over to see the young woman completely oblivious to her surroundings; she is dressed in sweat pants, flip-flops (you know my take on those stinky, nasty, no-support, poor excuse for shoes), a tee shirt; yes I know, comfortable, but when did it become acceptable to leave the house looking like that if you weren’t heading to the gym or going to clean someone’s house? To make matters worse she is propped against her carry-on, lying on the questionably clean floor when there are lots of seats available. By her clothing and demeanor she seems to be saying “I don’t care about myself or anyone around me.” As her noisy conversation continues, I begin to wonder when people became so comfortable with the public that they feel the whole world is their living-room. I’ve been watching it happen over the past few years in movie theaters, restaurants and malls, now it seems to be spreading everywhere. I’ve just recently made peace with jeans, tee-shirts and tennis shoes as fashion, but this! Are we really willing to go this far from courtesy and style? Casual is okay, however I really am sick of seeing slovenly in public, it hurts my eyes!

Her conversation goes on and on, at some points it’s funny and my fellow chair-sitters and I find ourselves chuckling; it seems we are all listening to her discussion. “How can we avoid it? She’s so loud” whispers Miss Manners. All of a sudden the conversation gets racy when she blurts out (loudly); “Oh no you di’int have sex with him, tell me you didn’t have sex with that weirdo! Ewwww, gross!” One woman gets up and takes her two young daughters to another, quieter section of the airport; the gabby-girl just keeps on talking and doesn’t even notice. Miss Manners is quite agitated and is wishing she had her wooden pointer stick to rap her on the arse with. I’m thinking; if she expects any degree of privacy, she’s delusional and she could, at the very least, lower her volume. Abruptly gabby-girl ends her call and immediately dials someone else and begins gossiping about whomever she was just talking to – now that’s classy! After a few more minutes on the phone she suddenly realizes her plane is fully boarded and they are calling for the last passengers before closing the doors; she swiftly ends her call and rushes over to her gate, yelling “wait, wait” the entire way; she makes it just in the nick of time.

As soon as she has departed, everyone goes back to actually reading and working on their computers. However Miss Manners feels she has missed an opportunity to teach a young person some etiquette, style and grace. She was aching to walk over, tap the young girl with her pointer stick, make her sit up straight, search through her bag for some appropriate clothing and footwear; and make her get up off the floor and sit in a chair like a civilized human being. Then she would school her on the fact that everyone around her should not be privy to her conversations, especially the more bawdy ones. Miss Manners is sure the young gabby-girl would have appreciated her wisdom.

Ah well, maybe next time; Miss Manners is sure there will be more opportunities in our travels.

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